Human Condition?

As I read different peoples thoughts, ramblings,
rantings and rages in their various weblogs I'm struck
by the universality and commonality of the human
condition. I am amazed at the candor with which many
express themselves knowing that others,
perhaps many, people will read what they had
to say.

I am also struck by my own lack of candor, at least on occasion. There are a few things I might like to say but fear the wrong person might read it and misunderstand my intent. This is partly my own co-dependency at work; being afraid of what others may think of me. My most basic insecurity at work, I know. And yet, I don't want to start a separate blog using an anonymous name. That would feel deceitful. Sorry, just something I've been pondering lately.

It has been extremely informative if occasionally disheartening to have the opportunity to glance into the psyche of so many from all over the globe. I have already mentioned in a previous post the extraordinary negativity, anger and self hatred I percieved among the younger crowd, especially teenage girls. I know, some of this is a normal part of growing up. But it seems to be pervasive and may have something to do with the high rate of suicide among teens today.

Oh well, I also know I can't solve the worlds problems in a single posting but who knows?

Waiting....

for the printer to finish it's long print job; about 20 more pages. It is excruciatingly slow because it refuses to acknowledge my settings, i.e. 'fastdraft' mode. I printed the first few in draft mode pretty quickly, then with the next batch it switched to the higher res setting. I went back and checked. Nothing was changed. It has simply refused to print in draft mode. I have checks to print after this is finished. Oh well, at least it gives me a few moments to jot in the blog.

We went to the "Alternative Service" at COC (Church of the Covenant) at 9:30 Sunday morning. It was very interesting. An old friend from a previous incarnation (aka; 1980's thru about the early 90's back at the old Maranatha Church) named David Fox was the guest pianist that morning. I hadn't seen Dave in some time. But, man, he could still play a mean keyboard. Only better, more accomplished. One could clearly sense the maturity of his work. Had a nice chat afterwords.

We also spoke with a couple who was at our table last week at the luncheon. They too were a little rattled at the confrontation with that person I mentioned in a previous post who seemed to enjoy being contentious for its own sake creating some tense moments. This couple were concerned that we might not ever come back to church again because of it. I assured them it would take more than one difficult person to deter us as I explained that these kind of folks are everywhere you go, and, it seems, especially in church! No. I think this group is headed in the right direction, at least the same direction we are headed in.

And, just to prove that there is a God in heaven, Duke and Georgia Tech are in the Final Four!!
This is great for the ACC even though I'm not sure Tech can get by Oklahoma State, but who knows? Even Duke may have a hard time with UConn. We'll see....

Till then here's the top 20 bumper stickers for women someone sent me. I'm not sure if it's any funnier if you're a guy reading these or a girl. In any case I got a kick out of it :)

1. SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.
2. GOD MADE US SISTERS, PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.
3. IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING.
4. MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.
5. PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES,SEEKS FROG.
6. COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN. SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.
7. DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN
8. IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.
9. DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.
10. I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN - AND I HAVE A GUN.
11. GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO. BUT LIKE... WHO CARES?
12. NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES
13. AND YOUR POINT IS?
14. WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.
15. OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.
16. DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN.
17. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP.
18. ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.
19. I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.
20. HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?

Just because....

my brain feels that way sometimes. Like pandora, spilling over. Crammed with too much stuff. It is good to have the outlet, the storage space if you will to put all those thoughts, feelings and other unidentified trivia that accumulates somewhere between the ears.
So if you thought you wandered into the wrong blog, you didn't. It's still me. Rambling and musing about almost anything. But not right now. I have a date with my lovely wife for dinner at 'Carraba's' and must be on my way.
Ron

Just bloggin. In my spare time. In between appointments. What a great way to use the moments. It's a kind of meditation with your eyes open, fully aware yet transcending the ordinary. Consciousness at work, at play, randomly, lovingly. In tune with yourself and the universe, at least for this moment. And this moment is all we ever really have. Remember, the next moment when it manifests itself becomes this moment. Whatever you are experiencing you are experiencing it now. So, make the most of it!

Such a wonderful gourmet lunch I had of chili ala Wendy's with sour cream and chive potato minus the sour cream and ice tea.
Ouch! My cheek hurts from sticking my tongue in it.
Actually, the protein from all the beans and left over burger bits should hold me for a few hours this afternoon. I'll probably burn up the carbs from the potato writing this blog and playing with my new game I mentioned on the right of the page below the Tag Board. (My best score so far is 42 moves). Let me know if you can beat it.
Anyway, nothing of consequence is going on at the moment as long as I continue to maintain my surface level of consciousness and avoid the depths of being wherein lurk all the interesting stuff of our lives which, as I said, we assiduously strive to ignore or even deny exists. Having said that, I bid you adieu 'till I can find another ten minutes with which I can otherwise bore us all to death.
Now, how was that for an uncharacteristically negative statement?

Hey, check out the little puzzle game below the messages box.

In my meditations this morning I lifted my cup and gave thanks to the caffeine god. For it inspires me to fight the good fight against the demon of sleep and stimulates me to go forth in a semblance of consciousness. As I partake of the nectar of morning stimulus I make an offering of thanks for getting me out of the bed of slumber.

Sorry about that. I couldn't resist. I really did think those silly thoughts as as I drank my coffee this morning in my chair before leaving. Client coming in. Must get busy now. Will post later. Hope your day goes well with or without your dose of chemicals.

Feeling much better, thanks. I put ice on my upper lip all morning before leaving for work. The swelling went down and now I think I look and feel almost normal again!
Gettin old's a b.....uh, I mean, really difficult sometimes.

In surfing various blogs at random I notice how many young people (under 21) love to vent there angst at the world. I'm especially disturbed by several 14 year olds with the severest form of self hatred I've ever seen. Notice I didn't use the silly catch phrase 'poor self esteem'. This is an overused euphemism for what's really going on in some of these kids heads. One young girl's blog is titled 'There is no Bright Side'. I read one that continually called herself a major screwup and often used the much stronger f...up. Yes, the language was usually atrocious at best. I'm trying hard to remember if I was that bad at those ages.
Just thought I'd share that. Anyone else notice such behavior in others' blogs? Or maybe you don't surf around like I do. I'm insatiably curious. I also learn a lot about how other people design and organize their sites. Some are very elaborate which to me defeats the purpose of the whole blogging concept. Let me know what you think.
Be back later.

Oh, man. You won't believe how big my upper lip got this afternoon after having lunch with Amanda at Chick-Fill-a! I have no clue what caused it to swell up like this but it sure looks and feels weird. I came home early and took a Benadryl. Hope it works.

Had a pretty good weekend. Nothing really eventful, unless you count March Madness. I have no particular favorite team as long as it's one of the ACC. Three were knocked out of competition this weekend, North Carolina, NC State and Maryland. Well, there's still Duke, Wake Forest and Georgia Tech.

Went back to COC (Church Of The Covenant) Sunday. Neither of us felt well but we went anyway. It was a good service. Fairly typical for a Presbyterian church, somewhat liturgical but not too stuffy. Somewhat dry but a strong sense of the presence of Spirit. I know we come from a more conservative (and 'charismatic') background so you have to take my comment about 'dry' in context. We are used to much noisier meetings. Fortunately, we have matured enough to know that God doesn't pay any more attention to us for our 'loudness' or how much we jump up and down. All of that is okay but we are learning how to hear God in that 'still small voice'. It is in the silent space of the heart that God makes his presence known as well as in the outpouring of love and friendliness from others which we have experiencing there. We're just glad to be back in church and enjoying it again! PTL
We had an interesting experience after service and being reminded that people are the same wherever you go! We stayed for lunch after service which they do about once a month, I think. At our table we were supposed to be discussing the question of "church membership", pros and cons, etc. Well it seems that in every group situation of this kind there is always someone who is just a little more talkative, a little more dominant personality and a little more overbearing than the rest. I couldn't express my own comments for having to battle with the louder, more opinionated voices at the table. This is not totally their fault, of course. I just hate having to struggle to get a word in edgewise. Most people just talk over others before they finish a sentence in order to say their piece. I foolishly try to be polite and wait for someone to take a breath before interjecting my own thoughts. This never works. At least with some who seem to never breath in between words let alone sentences.
I know. They could be less self absorbed and be sensitive to others in the group. But the real problem lies within myself. My own psychological 'schema' or drama centers around the childhood admonition to "speak up, son" which I heard all my life growing up with a soft voice (and not a little shyness) and having to make an effort just to be heard at all. Some folks just open their mouths and the whole room knows they are there. When I do make a conscience effort to 'speak up' it feels like I'm shouting. Anyway, I'm still working on it.
This particular event does not effect my decision to continue going to this church. These kind of people are everywhere you go and you just accept them and love them just like everyone else. We all have our foibles and faults!

Enough ranting already. Check it out next time.

Remember that appointment that didn't show up last week? Well, she shows up today but I had to send her away (to come back tomorrow) since I didn't have time to do her today. God, what a crazy business! I am, of course not sure if it was my mistake or hers but whatever, this stuff happens from time to time.

The State Board inspector showed up this afternoon. What fun! Actually, it wasn't so bad. We got a 94. She was real happy with my brush drawer. They were all so clean! They added some new rules this year and went up on our license fees again. Gotta pay for that bureaucracy you know.

I finally finished "The DaVinci Code" book. What a good read. I learned a lot of interesting things even though some of is considered controversial (Jesus and Mary Magdalene being married, etc.). Some things I already knew, such as the role Constantine played in changing the way the Church did "church". It was Constantine that instituted the western style 'Greco_Roman' structure of their meetings. Now they had lecturns (pulpits) which, of course, were elevated above the people increasing the sense of 'authority' the speaker had over the people. Up to this point (about 300 AD) most of the Church met in homes without so much centralized power and authority. Sadly, it's been the other way ever since. There were lots of other things that the pagan Emperor did that I cannot vouch for so I won't mention them here till I do more research. This is a book of fiction after all.

Until then here's a childhood memory:

The tall tree’s branch, thicker
Than my torso, hung horizontally
Moving in the breeze as if
Waving at me.

I admit to heeding the call as
The thick rope tied to the branch
Beckoned, knotted at the bottom like
A huge wart.

I could run from where I stood
And have a modest swing or
Grabbing the knot I could climb
The outcropped rock and launch
Myself into the universe.

Dangling thrill that it was tethered
Still to the branch hanging on
Precariously lest I experience the
Awkward spill of a short flight
To the ground.

RonRusso 2004

Holy Cow! I can't believe it's been since last Thursday (the 11th) since my last post. We have been very busy in the salon as well as at home. Wasn't Sunday just gorgeous? No, we didn't get out much in the warmth and sunshine but we did go to church for the first time in a while! (Oh, you poor heathens)
We went to the Church of the Covenant (Presbyterian, USA) on the corner of Mendenhall and Walker. An older church founded in 1906 it has some great architecture and, I'm sure, the problems that go along with an older building.
It's the first time in a very long time of visiting various churches and feeling actually welcomed. We had a great time. We will go back again I'm sure. They have what's called an alternative service at 9:30 Sunday morning that sounds intriguing. We will have to check that out next time we go. I'll let you know how it goes. Here's an excerpt taken from their "Vision" statement:

"We are an inclusive community which exists to experience, appreciate, celebrate and explore the spiritual foundation of existence. We respect and value a wide range of perceptions, and understand the place of questions and doubt in spiritual growth. We offer an atmosphere conducive to reflection and renewal as we examine the unexamined aspects of our lives, respond to the wonder of being, and offer ourselves in service and love to others." (www.athinkingchurch.org)

After lunch we watched Duke get beat by Maryland in the ACC (I was secretly pulling for Maryland, the underdog if only because Duke has such a dynasty thing going and don't we all love the underdog? Sorry, Dookies)
Then after the games we went to John and Angela's house to watch their kids while they went off for some church stuff they had going with the youth group. Anyway, we had a good time with the kids. They are all so sweet you can't help love them. There is no better feeling than being a grandparent and having one (or more) of the children climb up in your lap and just cuddle there. Thanks, Angela for asking us.

Well, I've got more work to do so I'll see you again soon.

It looks like my 2 o'clock appointment is a no show. (Insert cuss word here)
Oh, well. Life is tough all over.

Hey. Check out the new message board on the right --->
Cool, huh? Please write something in it so I'll know it works and that I'm not all alone in this cruel world!
I think this is much cooler than the comments dealy. If you don't like it and think I'm off my rocker (I already know that) let me know that too.

Well, now that I have an hour and a half to kill :( I guess I should say something profound or else do something worthwhile.
I keep having interesting conversations about "The Passion" (which I have yet to see). There seems to be quite a number who have no interest in seeing it at all. Most are simply repelled by the idea of gory violence....Even if it is Jesus bearing it all. (Isn't that the point after all?).

I am also about three fourths of the way through "The DaVinci Code". Great read! Much food for thought even though much of it controversial. If anyone has read it, let me know what you think of it.

Something found on the net:

He stared out at the ocean and said, "Look at the view, young lady. Look at the view."
And every day, in some little way, I try to do what he said. I try to look at the view. That's all. Words of wisdom from a man with not a dime in his pocket, no place to go, nowhere to be. Look at the view. When I do what he said, I am never disappointed.
— Anna Quindlen in A Short Guide to a Happy Life

To Practice This Thought: Take time to really see what is right in front of you.

Not much time. My first client comes in 15 minutes.
I made the mistake of wearing black this morning. Covered in cat hairs, of course.
Angela has been working for Jennifer at Personal Legal Plans on a temporary basis while the receptionist is out for her husbands surgery. Jen says Angela is doing a great job. The other lady is so insecure she thinks they are trying to push her out of a job. Drives Jennifer crazy!

Here's is a thought for the day I came across this morning. Hope you don't mind. I can't help it. I was born to be a preacher, philosopher, teacher, whatever....

Soul Boosters
On Toscanini's eightieth birthday, someone asked his son, Walter, what his father considered his most important achievement. The reply was, "For him there can be no such thing. Whatever he happens to be doing at the moment is the biggest thing in his life — whether it is conducting a symphony or peeling an orange."

To Practice This Thought: Stop whatever you are doing and remember that it is the biggest thing in your life. Then return to it.

Is the snow coming again?
Some say yes.
Some say no.
One thing for certain,
I sure as h*ll don't know!

I was reading American Poetry Review at lunch. Must have been real inspired. Ha.
Actually, just to show that sometimes I can write something passably (I think) here's one of my favorites....

Of Perhaps Armageddon

It was not the time of morning for chashing dreams
like slippery fish tails
or shaking the shadow of her, forever enshrined
in perfection.

The wheels crackle the gravel
as she pulls away and
Summer gels into autumn slowly
like an artery hardening.

Though it is the morning of the evening
of perhaps armageddon, I still bother
to straighten the sheets,
fluff the impression of her head from the
pillow, and mask our encounter
under a peach comforter
of quilted down.

See ya next time

Well I've just been wasting a whole lot of time (a couple of hours, I guess) on this computer surfing and figuring out stuff! Not totally wasted actually. I am learning more about html all the time. What fun. I noticed
that Beth saw that I had added a comment feature on the blog so she found the code and put it on hers too. Then I saw that she had included a smiley face from imood.com on hers. So, of course, I had to go there and figure out how do that for mine. I guess we're just a bunch of copy cats but that's how we learn stuff, no?
I don't think I actually wasted all that time. But I do have other things to do today. In fact if I don't get to the bank before six o'clock I might be in big trouble! Speaking of banks I just remembered that I left my bank bag (with all my money) in Amanda's car. I better get to her house pronto.

She came by the shop today with Killian and Katrielle and her new minivan to see if we could have lunch, which we did (at Burger King, yea!).
Killian is too cute. He lost one of his shoes in the play area in a place where you couldn't get to it. We thought it was gone forever. It seems a play pal had thrown it up in the air and it landed in the netting in an inacessable spot. However I found I could hit it with my hand from below and bounce it around a bit. So I managed to bounce it over the edge where the fence is. I went around the fence and retrieved it. Yea! Grandpa to the rescue.
I should mention that Katrielle is also getting cuter every day as well, now that she's about 6 or 7 months old she's developing quite a personality of her own. She seems to be a sweet natured child. Killian is too, it's just that he's all boy and is in pertetual motion, (you should try to cut his hair, as I did today).

Ooops! Getting late. Gotta get that deposit made and get my bank bag back from Amanda's.
See ya'll.

OK, Ron, quit using such strange words like 'quintessentially'! Geeeez. I need to look that one up on Google....hold on a minute...."representing the perfect example of a class or quality". Well that wasn't too bad after all. Have to run for now, be back later. See ya.

Absolutely the quintessentialy beautiful warm early spring day. Can't wait to finish this so I can go out and enjoy the day (and a little lunch while I'm at it)
Cut Beth's hair (my stepson's wife) again this morning. She has some of the thickest hair I've seen in a while. If I can figure out how, I'll post the link to her blog for you all. She writes very well. I enjoy reading her little adventures with their 5 year old son and those cats that co-habit their home. Which reminds me. A small yellow female tabby showed up at the front door of the salon last night. She was so friendly and just purred when I picked her up. I wanted to take her home to meet Marmalade, our orange male tabby but I knew she belonged to someone in the neighborhood. I thought, what a perfect pair they would have made! even though they have both been "fixed" and may or may not have gotten along with each other.

Oh, well. Time to eat. I'm starved. See you all next time.

"YOUR EXPERIENCE OF LIFE ISN'T BASED ON YOUR LIFE, IT'S BASED ON WHAT
YOU PAY ATTENTION TO."

One day it snows 10 inches, the next day it's 62 degrees. Today it should be around 68. Is Spring here or what? It is, of course, March and anything can happen around here!

I have a new girl coming to work tonight, part time. It's good to fill that chair again. The salon business is crazy sometimes. It can be feast or famine although most of the time we're pretty busy. I quit worrying about it many years ago. (Don't ask how many). Besides, who knows how many more years I'll work. Frankly, I do get a little tired of the hassle sometimes even though I do love what I do.

This year I can actually apply for Social Security! It seems as though it will be benificial to start taking it early even though at a reduced benifit amount. If I did my math right I will be better off not waiting till I'm 67 1/2 which seems like forever. Will they even have Social Security in another 6 years? Alan Greenspan seems to be a little nervous about it if we don't do something to shore it up or reduce some of the benifits. I wonder about my own children in the next 30 or 40 years and their prospects for retirement. Hopefully, they will be successfull enough not to have to worry about S.S.

"We cannot live the afternoon of life according to the program of life's morning; for what in the morning was true will in evening become a lie."
-- Carl Jung