We have to give them "No."
Granting them the priviledge of "No" is the foundation of relationship. And, of course, they have to grant the same thing to us. There is no possibility of relationship with those who cannot take no for an answer. How many people in your experience can you say "No" to, without having to defend, excuse, justify, or explain? Those are valuable people. I recommend haning onto them. They will not be easily replaced.
The others are everywhere. "You have to do it my way, or else" is the theme of our association with them. It's say "Yes," or be sorry, with them. They don't understand that the primary gift is the gift of "No." Or, see that relationship requires us to honor the preferences, interests, inhibitions, and disinclinations of those in relationship with us. We cannot assume that our way is the best way, and have to trust the others to know what is good for them, and allow them the freedom of their own positions and choices, without taking it to heart when they don't do it our way.
Jim Dollar
Presbyterian Church of the Covenant
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